Idiots

"The Ribbon, which is part of the Microsoft Office Fluent user interface, is designed to help you quickly find the commands that you need to complete a task. Commands are organized in logical groups that are collected together under tabs. Because each tab relates to a type of activity, such as writing or laying out a page, it is not possible to customize the Ribbon without using XML and programming code."

Translation: you can't customize this feature because we understand what you are trying to do and you obviously cannot.

So despite the fact that I have a 2560x1600 pixel display I cannot add the superscript and subscript buttons to the formatting ribbon.