How to do RSA according to uncyclopedia

Ingredients

You will need:

• a prime number of millilitres of Exponential Potion
  
• another prime number of millilitres of water
  
• a totient, readily available from your local Euler's® store
  
• a Sprig Of Modulo, which can't be too similar to the totient
  

Method

1. Put the Exponential Potion and water into a cauldron and mix.
   
2. Mix in the totient.
   
3. Now, carefully sprinkle some ground Sprig Of Modulo into the mix.
   
4. Set fire to the cauldron.
   
5. Count how many frogs fly out. This is your public key.
   
6. Count how many birds swim out. This is your private key.
   
7. Count how many pieces the cauldron explodes into. This is your modulus.
   
8. Call the fire department.